COPING SKILLS

Posted on July 18, 2024June 30, 2026 by JB Simon

Coping skills: ways we deal with people, problems, events, and even our own thoughts. Coping skills are how we deal with demands made by stressful events that are challenging or burn out a person’s resources.
(Lazarus & Folkman, 1984)

Humans are creatures of habit. We have a tendency to have go-to responses for most things.

So….how are you managing? What are your habits and go-to thoughts/behavior when problems arise?

For some strange reason, unhealthy habits and toxic behaviors come easily. That’s why we must study and practice POSITIVE AND HEALTHY coping skills.

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

Practicing mindfulness is necessary to maintain a state of awareness. Be aware of yourself, your thoughts, behaviors, and habits you have. Practice constant vigilance so that you won’t get caught off guard!

A complacent or apathetic mindset can be dangerous.

Coping skills: ways we deal with people, problems, events, and even our own thoughts. Coping skills are how we deal with demands made by stressful events that are challenging or burn out a person’s resources (Lazarus & Folkman, 1984).

Humans are creatures of habit, we have a tendency to have go-to responses for most things…..

So….how are you managing? What are your habits and go-to thoughts/behavior when problems arise?

For some strange reason, unhealthy habits and toxic behaviors come easily. That’s why we must study and practice POSITIVE AND HEALTHY coping skills.

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!!

Practicing mindfulness and maintaining a state of awareness is necessary to discover yourself. Be aware of yourself, your thoughts, behaviors, and habits you have. Practice constant vigilance so that you won’t get caught off guard! A complacent or apathetic mindset can be dangerous.

Complacency is a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like.
- Complacency will allow old habits and mindsets to return. It’s a dangerous place because it’s where motivation is lost and satisfaction with what’s efficient becomes the new norm.
Apathy is a lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.
- With apathy comes depressed moods, loss of motivation, and that ‘I don’t care’ attitude. We’re entering the red zone when this point is reached. The indifference, negativity and cynicism that usually accompany apathy are open doors to unhealthy coping skills. Neglected self-care, poor communication, and isolating are a few behaviors that result from indifference and disinterest.

This is why being self-aware is so important. Complacency and apathy slide in and you may not even notice you behave and think like you do.

Once you become more aware of yourself, you can effectively make changes in life.

“We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.”
Sheryl Sandberg.

healthy vs unhealthy

Coping skills make or break us. Not just in our lifestyle, but in every aspect. How well we utilize coping skills affects our spiritual walk, mental status, emotions, finances, and relationships.

Browse over this table of examples. It’s just a few examples of what healthy versus unhealthy coping skills are. Which of these do you practice or can relate to?

UNHEALTHY	HEALTHY
Isolating and avoiding people.	Reaching out to others, allowing family/friends in
Minimizing situations. (“It’s not that bad.”)	Accepting reality – the good and bad.
Abusing drugs and alcohol to feel better.	Acknowledge underlying issues, go to therapy Go to the gym, get active, find hobbies Connect with others in group, find a counselor/therapist
Self-Harm	Using social support, find a healthy outlet
Aggressive behavior – Mean, hostile, controlling, humiliates others, disrespectful, angry outbursts	Respectful to others
Sleeping too much or too little	Sleep the recommended amount of hours at night and stay awake during the day
Overeating / Not eating	Eating balanced meals
Passive Aggressive Behavior – poor communication giving ultimatums allowing others to take advantage, trying to “keep the peace” blaming others, making excuses using sarcasm hiding anger	Assertive Behavior- Being an active listener compromising knowing your rights, taking responsibility set clear boundaries, be respectful directly and clearly addressing issues
Poor Hygiene (Letting yourself go)	Self-Care: Take a shower, brush your teeth, take care of youself!

COPING SKILLS EXAMPLES

SELF-REFLECT.

Think on how you choose to respond to internal and external problems. Are you using healthy coping skills?

What changes do you want to see made in your life?

It begins with you.

**Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it.**

References

Apathy. (n.d.). Retrieved December 14, 2020, from https://www.dictionary.com/browse/apathy

Complacency. (n.d.). Retrieved December 14, 2020, from https://www.dictionary.com/browse/complacency?s=t

Lazarus RS, Folkman S. 1984. Stress, Appraisal, and Coping. New York: Springer

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Wellness

5 KEYS TO LETTING GO

Posted on July 18, 2024June 30, 2026 by JB Simon

A silhouette of a black woman with arms lifted in nature enjoying life, peaceful, happy — Experience joy, peace, and freedom as you let go of what weighs you down.

Letting go can be a difficult and painful process, but it is often necessary for personal growth and healing. Whether it’s letting go of a toxic relationship, a negative self-image, or a painful past experience, there are three keys to help you release what no longer serves you.

1. Invest in self(love).

This means taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Practicing self-care and self-compassion are crucial in building self-love.

Start by setting boundaries and saying no when necessary. Allow yourself to prioritize your needs and put yourself first.

Spend time doing activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you.

Remember, you are worthy of love and respect, and investing in yourself is a vital step in letting go of what no longer serves you.

2. Be hopeful.

Even when things seem difficult, having hope can give you the strength to keep going. Believe that things will get better, and trust that there is a plan for your life.

3. Embrace Healing.

It’s important to address any emotional wounds and traumas to promote healing and growth. Seek support from a therapist or counselor if necessary, and practice self-reflection and self-awareness.

Acknowledge and accept your emotions and allow yourself to feel them without judgment. Through this process, you can release any negative emotions and thoughts that are holding you back.

Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination, so be patient and kind to yourself throughout the process.

4. Find Resolve.

Ground yourself in a solid foundation. You know yourself best. You find resolve by reflecting on your values, beliefs, and goals.

5. Replace.

What lies in the space between forgiving and forgetting?

In conclusion, letting go is a process that requires self-love, hope, and healing. Investing in yourself, staying hopeful, and embracing healing can help you release what no longer serves you and move forward with a positive mindset. With time and practice, you can let go of what is holding you back and live a fulfilling life.

Promoting positive thoughts, healthy habits, and sober living through uplifting and relevant conversation.

JB Simon

Portions of this article were generated with the assistance of an AI language model called Chat GPT, developed by OpenAI.

REFERENCES

Hawkins, D. R. (2013). Letting go: The pathway of surrender. Hay House, Inc.

OpenAI. (2023). ChatGPT [Large language model]. https://chat.openai.com/chatk

Preston, D. L. (2005). 365 Steps to self-confidence. How To Books.

Wellness

The Pursuit of Happiness

Posted on June 19, 2023June 30, 2026 by JB Simon

Introduction to Positive Psychology

Welcome, dear readers, to an extraordinary journey toward a brighter and more fulfilling life. Today, let us begin this adventure of “positive psychology”, the science that unravels the mysteries of happiness and well-being. Join me as we delve into this captivating field, understand how it can change our lives for the better.

Positive psychology is a branch of psychology that seeks to understand and enhance the factors that contribute to human happiness and well-being (Seligman, 2019). Unlike traditional psychology, which focuses on identifying and treating mental illnesses and disorders (the medical model), positive psychology places its emphasis on what makes life worth living (Seligman, 2019). It explores the positive aspects of human experience, encouraging individuals to grow and thrive.

Positive psychology offers a fresh perspective. It recognizes that adolescence and early adulthood are critical phases of life, where the identity of an individual is shaped and their paths discovered. The challenges and uncertainties that lie ahead may become clearer as you embrace the journey that is life.

By adopting the principles of positive psychology, you can unlock the door to growth, change, and happiness (Peterson, 2006). It’s like opening a treasure chest of knowledge consisting of practical strategies and habits that promote well-being.

One of the most powerful aspects of positive psychology is that it places a strong emphasis o positive nemotions, strengths, and virtues. It acknowledges that even small, positive changes in our daily routines and mindsets can mean big changes in our overall wellness. By incorporating positive psychology practices into your life, you can develop a more optimistic outlook, enhance your relationships, build resilience, and cultivate a deeper sense of purpose.

Imagine starting each day with a grateful heart, aware of the blessings that surround you. Picture yourself embracing challenges as opportunities for growth and tapping into your inner strengths. Picture a life where you nurture supportive relationships and engage in acts of kindness. These are just a few examples of the transformative power that positive psychology can have on your everyday life.

In the upcoming posts, we will discuss various topics related to positive psychology, such as gratitude, flow, personal strengths and values, and the importance of intentional actions. We will dive into practical exercises and provide evidence-based insights that can help you have a happier life.

Remember that the pursuit of happiness is not something you pursue alone, it is a shared journey. Together, let’s embark on this exciting exploration into the realm of positive psychology!

Stay tuned for the next post. Until then, embrace the possibilities and let your light shine bright for all to see!

All the best,

REFERENCES

Peterson, C. (2006). A Primer in positive psychology. Oxford University Press.

Seligman, M. E. (2019). Positive psychology: A personal history. Annual review of clinical psychology, 15, 1-23.

Wellness

Essential Coping Skills for a Positive Life

Posted on June 19, 2023June 30, 2026 by JB Simon

Unlocking Resilience & Inner Strengths

Coping skills: ways we deal with people, problems, events, and even our own thoughts. Coping skills are how we deal with demands made by stressful events that are challenging or burn out a person’s resources.
(Lazarus & Folkman, 1984)

Coping skills: ways we deal with people, problems, events, and even our own thoughts. Coping skills are how we deal with demands made by stressful events that are challenging or burn out a person’s resources (Lazarus & Folkman, 1984).

Humans are creatures of habit, we have a tendency to have go-to responses for most things…..

So….how are you managing? What are your habits and go-to thoughts/behavior when problems arise?

For some strange reason, unhealthy habits and toxic behaviors come easily. That’s why we must study and practice POSITIVE AND HEALTHY coping skills.

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!!

Complacency is a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like.
- Complacency will allow old habits and mindsets to return. It’s a dangerous place because it’s where motivation is lost and satisfaction with what’s efficient becomes the new norm.
Apathy is a lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.
- With apathy comes depressed moods, loss of motivation, and that ‘I don’t care’ attitude. We’re entering the red zone when this point is reached. The indifference, negativity and cynicism that usually accompany apathy are open doors to unhealthy coping skills. Neglected self-care, poor communication, and isolating are a few behaviors that result from indifference and disinterest.

This is why being self-aware is so important. Complacency and apathy slide in and you may not even notice you behave and think like you do.

Once you become more aware of yourself, you can effectively make changes in life.

“We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.”
Sheryl Sandberg.

healthy vs unhealthy

Browse over this table of examples. It’s just a few examples of what healthy versus unhealthy coping skills are. Which of these do you practice or can relate to?

UNHEALTHY	HEALTHY
Isolating and avoiding people.	Reaching out to others, allowing family/friends in
Minimizing situations. (“It’s not that bad.”)	Accepting reality – the good and bad.
Abusing drugs and alcohol to feel better.	Acknowledge underlying issues, go to therapy Go to the gym, get active, find hobbies Connect with others in group, find a counselor/therapist
Self-Harm	Using social support, find a healthy outlet
Aggressive behavior – Mean, hostile, controlling, humiliates others, disrespectful, angry outbursts	Respectful to others
Sleeping too much or too little	Sleep the recommended amount of hours at night and stay awake during the day
Overeating / Not eating	Eating balanced meals
Passive Aggressive Behavior – poor communication giving ultimatums allowing others to take advantage, trying to “keep the peace” blaming others, making excuses using sarcasm hiding anger	Assertive Behavior- Being an active listener compromising knowing your rights, taking responsibility set clear boundaries, be respectful directly and clearly addressing issues
Poor Hygiene (Letting yourself go)	Self-Care: Take a shower, brush your teeth, take care of youself!

COPING SKILLS EXAMPLES

SELF-REFLECT.

Think on how you choose to respond to internal and external problems. Are you using healthy coping skills?

What changes do you want to see made in your life?

It begins with you.

After reading and reflecting on your present use of coping skills, I’d like you to consider something else. All of us are blessed with personal strengths. Have you discovered yours?

What are you good at? What do you enjoy? There are easy ways to discover more about yourself if you are at a loss.

With the tools supplied and knowledge of what your strengths are, pursue your goals and live your life with purpose. Embrace who you are, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and let your light shine.

“We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

-Marianne Williamson

Shine your light!

References

Apathy. (n.d.). Retrieved December 14, 2020, from https://www.dictionary.com/browse/apathy

Complacency. (n.d.). Retrieved December 14, 2020, from https://www.dictionary.com/browse/complacency?s=t

Lazarus RS, Folkman S. 1984. Stress, Appraisal, and Coping. New York: Springer