Coping skills: ways we deal with people, problems, events, and even our own thoughts. Coping skills are how we deal with demands made by stressful events that are challenging or burn out a person’s resources (Lazarus & Folkman, 1984).

Humans are creatures of habit, we have a tendency to have go-to responses for most things…..

For some strange reason, unhealthy habits and toxic behaviors come easily. That’s why we must study and practice POSITIVE AND HEALTHY coping skills.

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!!

Practicing mindfulness and maintaining a state of awareness is necessary to discover yourself. Be aware of yourself, your thoughts, behaviors, and habits you have. Practice constant vigilance so that you won’t get caught off guard! A complacent or apathetic mindset can be dangerous.

• Complacency is a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like.
  • Complacency will allow old habits and mindsets to return. It’s a dangerous place because it’s where motivation is lost and satisfaction with what’s efficient becomes the new norm.
• Apathy is a lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.
  • With apathy comes depressed moods, loss of motivation, and that ‘I don’t care’ attitude. We’re entering the red zone when this point is reached. The indifference, negativity and cynicism that usually accompany apathy are open doors to unhealthy coping skills. Neglected self-care, poor communication, and isolating are a few behaviors that result from indifference and disinterest.

This is why being self-aware is so important. Complacency and apathy slide in and you may not even notice you behave and think like you do.

Once you become more aware of yourself, you can effectively make changes in life.

“We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.”

Sheryl Sandberg.

healthy vs unhealthy

Coping skills make or break us. Not just in our lifestyle, but in every aspect. How well we utilize coping skills affects our spiritual walk, mental status, emotions, finances, and relationships.

Browse over this table of examples. It’s just a few examples of what healthy versus unhealthy coping skills are. Which of these do you practice or can relate to?

UNHEALTHY	HEALTHY
Isolating and avoiding people.	Reaching out to others, allowing family/friends in
Minimizing situations. (“It’s not that bad.”)	Accepting reality – the good and bad.
Abusing drugs and alcohol to feel better.	Acknowledge underlying issues, go to therapy Go to the gym, get active, find hobbies Connect with others in group, find a counselor/therapist
Self-Harm	Using social support, find a healthy outlet
Aggressive behavior – Mean, hostile, controlling, humiliates others, disrespectful, angry outbursts	Respectful to others
Sleeping too much or too little	Sleep the recommended amount of hours at night and stay awake during the day
Overeating / Not eating	Eating balanced meals
Passive Aggressive Behavior – poor communication giving ultimatums allowing others to take advantage, trying to “keep the peace” blaming others, making excuses using sarcasm hiding anger	Assertive Behavior- Being an active listener compromising knowing your rights, taking responsibility set clear boundaries, be respectful directly and clearly addressing issues
Poor Hygiene (Letting yourself go)	Self-Care: Take a shower, brush your teeth, take care of youself!

SELF-REFLECT.

Think on how you choose to respond to internal and external problems. Are you using healthy coping skills?

What changes do you want to see made in your life?

It begins with you.